Auteur and creator

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Hamburgsund, Vastra Gotalands Lan, Sweden
Jonas Wolcher, the visionary Swedish director born on April 15, 1973, is a cinematic maestro celebrated for his dynamic storytelling in films like "Die Zombiejäger" and "Dragonetti: The Ruthless Contract Killer." In the captivating world of "Cannibal Fog," Wolcher fearlessly delves into the cannibal genre, crafting narratives that defy convention, emphasizing storytelling prowess over extravagant special effects. His films aren't just stories; they're experiences, guided by an auteur with an unparalleled knack for turning challenges into triumphs. In a world of constraints, Wolcher's indomitable spirit shines through, making him a luminary figure in Swedish cinema. His unique blend of storytelling, music curation, and marketing finesse continues to captivate audiences, ensuring that Jonas Wolcher remains a cinematic force to be reckoned with.

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2026-03-04

Do you have pure Wolcha energy?

In the world of independent filmmaking, where budgets are tight and resources are scarce, creativity isn’t just an asset—it’s a survival skill. 

Enter "to Wolcha", a term born from the guerrilla filmmaking tactics of Swedish director and producer Jonas Wolcher. Coined within indie film circles, "to Wolcha" describes the art of marketing, distributing, or creating buzz for a film (or any artistic project) with little to no budget, relying instead on ingenuity, personal connections, and unconventional methods.

It’s not just about cutting costs—it’s about turning limitations into strengths. Finding clever ways to use social media, crafting handmade posters, or networking at festivals with nothing but passion and a business card, Wolcha is the mindset that proves you don’t need Hollywood’s resources to make an impact. It’s a testament to the idea that true art thrives on heart, grit, and a refusal to accept "no" for an answer.

For Jonas Wolcher, Wolcha isn’t just a technique—it’s a philosophy. And in a world where indie filmmakers are constantly fighting for visibility, it’s a reminder that sometimes, the best tool you have is your own creativity.


  1. "We had no PR budget, so we had to Wolcha the film!"

  2. "He’s a master at Wolcha-ing—just like Jonas!"

  3. "This film became a cult classic thanks to pure Wolcha energy."

 

"To Wolcha" (verb, film industry slang): To market, distribute, or generate buzz for a film (or other artistic project) with minimal or no budget, using creative, unconventional, and often deeply personal methods. The term originates from Jonas Wolcher’s work and has become a recognized expression within indie film circles to describe resourceful, passion-driven promotion.

2026-03-03

HOW LONG CAN YOU SURVIVE BY EATING YOURSELF?



Repost from 2016

I just received this article on my Facebook feed. 
I decided to share it with you. The original article is in Norwegian.

Warning: It contains very strong material. 

To spice up the text, I’ve added some links about cannibalism with fictional images from my movie "CANNIBAL FOG", I made in 2014.

SPOILER ALERT! 



Cannibal Fog (2014) is a Swedish horror film that plunges into the taboo world of self-cannibalism and the consumption of "long pig" (human flesh). The story follows Michael, a man trapped in a monotonous life of excess, who discovers a disturbing new craving: human flesh. As he delves deeper into this macabre obsession, he is drawn into a clandestine society where cannibalism is ritualized, and the boundaries of morality dissolve into a psychological haze—the "Cannibal Fog."



The film explores themes of obsession, identity, and the extremes of human desire, blending body horror with surreal, experimental storytelling. It’s not just about the act of eating flesh, but the mental and emotional unraveling that follows. The "Cannibal Fog" itself is a metaphor for the loss of self and moral compass, as characters descend into a detached, almost hallucinatory state after consuming human meat.



With its raw, unpolished style and provocative subject matter, Cannibal Fog stands out as a daring and unsettling exploration of taboo, pushing audiences to confront the darkest corners of human nature and the blurred line between pleasure and horror.

This was just a side dish — let’s get back to the article written by Sedsel Brøndum Lange. Do you dare read any further? 

Published: January 25, 2016, 04:00 
Writer: Sedsel Brøndum Lange 

How long can you survive by eating yourself? 

Imagine that the only way to survive is to eat yourself. How long could you survive, and which body parts could you eat without dying? Jerk W. Langer, a doctor, lecturer, and teacher at the University of Copenhagen, has taken on the challenge of calculating an answer. Cynical Calculations It is possible to survive for about 40 days by living solely on the body’s reserves—completely without food. However, it might be possible to extend your life further by eating your own muscles, explains Langer. —According to cold, cynical calculations, you can actually survive for quite a long time, he says. The calculations are based on an 80-kilogram man.


Theoretically, he could eat his own legs and arms—or, if he is completely alone and must use one arm to eat and amputate his other limbs, his legs and one arm. You can’t, for obvious reasons, look up "human flesh" in a standard calorie table. Therefore, Langer has chosen to use the calorie count for pork shoulder with rind, which consists primarily of muscle and some fat and skin. This gives 85,900 calories in two arms and two legs, and 75,000 calories in one arm and two legs. —So, let’s look at how few calories you can survive on.


We’re dealing with a starving person who doesn’t move much. And during the experiment, he moves even less when his legs are gone. So, I assume he can survive on 1,000 calories a day. Of course, he will waste away and consume the rest of his body’s reserves, but we’re talking about pure survival, says Langer. With 1,000 calories a day, the calculations show that, on average, you could survive for 86 days by eating two arms and two legs, and 75 days by eating two legs and one arm. In addition, there are the 40 days you could survive without eating at all. Difficult in Practice However, a lot can go wrong if you are suddenly forced to amputate your own limbs. Langer assumes that, in this hypothetical experiment, you could amputate an arm or leg safely to avoid bleeding to death or getting infections.


Additionally, you must store the "food" properly so the meat doesn’t spoil. Many other factors could also come into play. —There may be other things that cause you to die earlier. You’d probably be quite stressed about eating yourself. You might also not be able to stomach it. And then there could be problems with wounds and infections and all sorts of things, so this is just theoretical survival, explains Langer. Arms and Legs Are Not Vital When eating yourself, it’s a bit of a balancing act to keep yourself alive. You have to eat enough to survive, but not so much that you die from it. 


So, theoretically, are there parts that are better to eat than others? —If you have a good layer of fat, you might be able to eat a bit of your stomach, but you can’t eat the internal organs. You can live without one kidney and 75 percent of your liver, but in practice, it wouldn’t be possible to remove the organs yourself, says Langer. For this reason, he focuses on arms and legs in his calculations, even though fat contains the most energy. —There isn’t much fat tissue on the arms and legs, but on the other hand, arms and legs are not vital. You can live without them, unlike the internal organs, says Langer.


Unethical Research There aren’t many people who have chosen to live off their own flesh and blood. However, there are examples of people who have eaten parts of themselves. Last year, several media outlets reported on a Norwegian artist who, after hip surgery, prepared and ate his own hip.
In 2002, it was big news that the German cannibal Armin Meiwes had consumed another man—who had voluntarily participated in preparing and eating his own penis before being completely slaughtered. When someone voluntarily eats parts of themselves, it’s called autosarcophagy or self-cannibalism. 
Although it’s a very rare practice, there are several scientific case studies on it. A classic example comes from the book Psychopathia Sexualis from 1886, which includes a study of a man who was believed to be sexually aroused by the idea of eating himself. He talked about cutting flesh from women he was attracted to instead of having sex with them, but he always ended up cutting off a piece of his own skin and eating it instead. There is no research on how the body reacts to being eaten by itself. Jerk W. Langer has an explanation for this. —It’s a field of research that would naturally be considered unethical. What happens mentally or physically in that situation is unknown, says Langer. © Videnskab.dk. Translated by Lars Nygaard for forskning.no.


Fact Box Calculation of how long you can survive by eating yourself


Assumption: Safe amputation. The meat is stored properly and kept cool. The calculations are based on an 80-kilogram man. Energy in pork shoulder with rind: 2,400 kcal/kg. It is assumed that a starving person with no physical activity can survive on 1,000 kcal/day, as the body also consumes its own reserves. 

Two legs and two arms weigh a total of 35.8 kg and contain 85,900 kcal. Eating two legs and two arms would allow you to live for almost 86 days. Two legs and one arm weigh 31.3 kg and contain 75,000 kcal. Eating two legs and one arm would allow you to live for about 75 days. 

If you want to know more, listen to their podcast: Links to how we became cannibals Can you get allergic shocks from eating flesh and more? Check out forskning.no Other links to self-eating: Armin Meiwes (lost tapes) Warning: strong content Dinner for one!

Back to the story of Cannibal Fog

When I did this horror movie Cannibal Fog (2014) the topic was about eating yourself and eating "long pig". The film clearly delves into one of the most taboo and unsettling themes in horror—the idea of self-cannibalism and "long pig" (a euphemism for human flesh). The scientific exploration of digesting oneself, while grotesque and ethically unimaginable, serves as a fascinating (if disturbing) thought experiment. It forces audiences to confront the extremes of survival, bodily autonomy, and the psychological horror of consuming one's own flesh. - Jonas Wolcher

Final words

This is not intended to be practical but it's about the science of digesting yourself. It's unethical and very gross.


2026-03-02

Laurene Landon - The Fearless Canadian Amazon Blonde - Jonas Wolchers Videotek

 

In English och på svenska

Welcome to Jonas Wolchers Videotek – where we celebrate the soul of genre cinema, past and present, through intimate, personal conversations with the rebels and actors who shaped it.


In this episode: "The Fearless Canadian Amazon Blonde" – Laurene Landon. A force of nature in action and genre cinema for nearly five decades. From her breakthrough in the 1980s to her enduring legacy today, we explore her love for storytelling, her struggles and triumphs through Hollywood’s golden age, and her burning passion for roles that defy conventions—portrayed in over 40 films.


From iconic performances—the sword-swinging warrior in Hundra, the tough-as-nails cop in Maniac Cop, Mike Hammer’s ruthless right hand in I, The Jury, and the futuristic survivor in America 3000—to shattering barriers as a woman in a male-dominated industry, Landon holds nothing back. She shares her hard-earned insights on filmmaking and why her fearless authenticity has kept her in the spotlight for nearly 50 years.

If you, like Jonas Wolcher, love genre films that provoke and move—packed with emotion, fantasy, sci-fi, dystopia, horror, action, humor, and even "happy endings"—then this series is for you.

Join us as we pay tribute to a true genre legend—a woman who didn’t just ride the waves of fame, but redefined what it means to be an action heroine for generations.


Välkommen till Jonas Wolchers Videotek – där vi hyllar genrefilmernas själ, dåtidens och nutidens, genom närgångna personliga samtal med de rebeller och skådespelare som format den.

I detta avsnitt: "The Fearless Canadian Amazon Blonde" - Laurene Landon. En naturkraft inom action- och genrefilm i nästan fem decennier. Från hennes genombrott på 1980-talet till hennes bestående arv idag, vi utforskar hennes kärlek till berättande, hennes resa och strävande genom Hollywoods guldålder och hennes stora passion för roller som utmanar normerna, porträtterade i mer än 40 filmer.


Från ikonskapande insatser – den svärdssvingande krigaren i Hundra, den hårdkokta polisen i Maniac Cop, den högra handen till Mike Hammer - obarmhärtige hämnaren i I, The Jury och den futuristiska överlevaren i America 3000 - till att spräcka barriärer som kvinna i en mansdominerad bransch. Landon håller  ingenting tillbaka. Hon delar med sig av sina hårdförvärvade insikter om filmskapande och varför hennes oförskräckta äkthet har hållit henne i rampljuset i nästan 50 år.

Om du som Jonas Wolcher älskar genrefilm som upprör och berör - fyllda av känsla, fantasy, sci-fi, dystopi, skräck, action, humor även "happy endings" då är detta programserien för dig.


Följ med när vi hyllar en sann genrelegend – en kvinna som inte bara red på vågorna av berömmelse, utan omdefinierade vad det innebär att vara en actionhjältinna för generationer.

FRESH OUT THE BRAIN

Do you have pure Wolcha energy?

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